Training in Self-Righteousness

Today we were at a play area at the mall. A little boy brought three trucks to play with. Sweet Pea went over and picked up one of the trucks that he had set on the ground. He got very angry with her and grabbed it away – his little face was so contorted and ugly. I explained to her that she needed to ask before she played with other kids’ toys. Later, I talked with her about how that little boy hadn’t learned to share and how I was proud of her for sharing her ball and toys with a little friend who had been over to visit last night. As I was driving home, I realized that I was training Sweet Pea to be self-righteous. She and I are no better than the selfish boy from the play area. We all three need Jesus to give us new hearts that aren’t selfish. Even if Sweet Pea learns the outward behavior of sharing, what I really want her to learn is to have an unselfish heart… the good news is that Jesus can give us unselfish hearts. We desperately need Him.

God is the One who does the work

Yesterday I was feeling really hopeless about parenting. I felt like I was spanking Sweet Pea all day and it wasn’t very fun. And I don’t feel like it’s making a difference. I was sharing with Husbandly how I felt like I’m going to mess her up and he said something very profound:

You are not going to mess her up…. and you’re not going to make her awesome. God is the One who does the work.

That was a good kick in the pants. I love having a husband who is able and willing to speak truth to me.

I’ve also been learning a lot about being patient. I need to start asking myself a couple questions before I react in anger or frustration:

1) Why am I mad? Is it because I feel like my rights or my comfort is getting stepped on? Is there some way that Sweet Pea is sinning against me?

2) Am I concerned about Sweet Pea’s spiritual wellbeing or am I concerned about appearances?

3) How can I best teach and instruct in this situation?